written by Kelbi Nell
June is Men’s Mental Health Month, a time dedicated to raising awareness about the emotional and psychological wellbeing of men and encouraging conversations that too often remain hidden behind silence and stigma.
In South Africa, men face unique pressures. Cultural expectations around masculinity often promote the idea that men should be strong, self-reliant and emotionally reserved. Many are expected to provide financially, support extended families, and navigate unemployment, poverty, violence and social inequality while appearing unaffected. These pressures can take a significant toll on mental health.
Despite these challenges, many men still struggle to seek help. According to the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG), stigma surrounding mental illness and traditional beliefs about masculinity can prevent men from talking about depression, anxiety, trauma or suicidal thoughts. Yet seeking support is not a sign of weakness. It is in fact an act of courage and self-care.
South Africa also faces high levels of gender-based violence, crime and community trauma, all of which affect men's mental wellbeing. Fathers, husbands, sons and brothers may carry the emotional impact of loss, financial stress, substance abuse, relationship difficulties and unresolved trauma without knowing where to turn.
Men’s Mental Health Month serves as an important reminder that mental health is just as important as physical health. Looking after emotional wellbeing can involve something as simple as talking to a trusted friend, exercising regularly, spending time with loved ones, connecting with faith communities, or reaching out to a mental health professional when needed.
Organisations such as the SADAG and LifeLine offer free telephonic counselling, support groups and crisis lines, making help more accessible to people across the country. Communities, workplaces and families also have an important role to play by creating safe spaces where men feel able to express vulnerability without fear of judgment.
This Men’s Mental Health Month, the message is simple: South African men do not have to suffer in silence. Strength is not found in suppressing emotions. It is found in recognising when support is needed and taking the first step towards healing.
I am sharing this because I have reached a point in my life where I desperately need proper help and support.
For a long time, I have been struggling with circumstances in my personal life that have become extremely difficult to cope with. Much of what I am experiencing is not visible to other people, which makes it even harder to explain. From the outside, I may look like someone who is going to work, raising her children and carrying on with life. Inside, I am exhausted and struggling to keep everything together.
I have been recovering from depression and was away from work for about a month. Returning to work has not meant that the circumstances affecting me have disappeared. I am trying to recover while continuing to work, provide for my children and manage responsibilities that do not stop simply because I am struggling emotionally.
There have also been incidents involving my personal belongings and important documents. Clothes have been damaged or gone missing, and personal information and important documents, including my ID and work-related papers, have gone missing and later been found or become difficult to account for. I cannot always prove exactly what has happened or who is responsible, but experiencing these things repeatedly has caused me enormous distress.
I have tried to ask people in my community for assistance. I have reached out because I genuinely need someone to listen and help me understand what steps I can take. Unfortunately, some people have not returned my calls or did not come when they said they would. That has left me feeling isolated and as though I am trying to deal with something serious completely on my own.
At the same time, I am trying to maintain my employment while dealing with the effects of depression, personal stress and family responsibilities. I am under pressure to perform at work while also trying to recover and remain present for my children.
What hurts most is that my situation is difficult to see from the outside. I often feel that because there are no obvious signs of what I am experiencing, people may think I am exaggerating, confused or simply struggling with ordinary life. But I know how much this has affected me.
I am not asking anyone to automatically believe every conclusion I have reached. I am asking someone to listen to the facts of what has happened, look at the circumstances as a whole and help me establish what can be verified and what steps I can safely take.
I have reached a point where I do not want to continue carrying everything alone.
I want proper support. I want guidance. I want someone to take the situation seriously and help me find a way forward for myself and my children.
I also believe that my experience could potentially help someone else one day. There are people who experience emotional distress, intimidation, isolation or circumstances they cannot easily explain, and because there are no visible injuries, nobody understands the seriousness of what they are going through.
I am still trying to hold my life together.
I am trying to recover.
I am trying to work.
I am trying to be there for my children.
And I am trying to find help before everything becomes too much.
I am asking for proper help—not just sympathy, but someone willing to listen, understand the full situation and help me find a safe and constructive way forward.
I am sharing this because I have reached a point in my life where I desperately need proper help and support.
For a long time, I have been struggling with circumstances in my personal life that have become extremely difficult to cope with. Much of what I am experiencing is not visible to other people, which makes it even harder to explain. From the outside, I may look like someone who is going to work, raising her children and carrying on with life. Inside, I am exhausted and struggling to keep everything together.
I have been recovering from depression and was away from work for about a month. Returning to work has not meant that the circumstances affecting me have disappeared. I am trying to recover while continuing to work, provide for my children and manage responsibilities that do not stop simply because I am struggling emotionally.
There have also been incidents involving my personal belongings and important documents. Clothes have been damaged or gone missing, and personal information and important documents, including my ID and work-related papers, have gone missing and later been found or become difficult to account for. I cannot always prove exactly what has happened or who is responsible, but experiencing these things repeatedly has caused me enormous distress.
I have tried to ask people in my community for assistance. I have reached out because I genuinely need someone to listen and help me understand what steps I can take. Unfortunately, some people have not returned my calls or did not come when they said they would. That has left me feeling isolated and as though I am trying to deal with something serious completely on my own.
At the same time, I am trying to maintain my employment while dealing with the effects of depression, personal stress and family responsibilities. I am under pressure to perform at work while also trying to recover and remain present for my children.
What hurts most is that my situation is difficult to see from the outside. I often feel that because there are no obvious signs of what I am experiencing, people may think I am exaggerating, confused or simply struggling with ordinary life. But I know how much this has affected me.
I am not asking anyone to automatically believe every conclusion I have reached. I am asking someone to listen to the facts of what has happened, look at the circumstances as a whole and help me establish what can be verified and what steps I can safely take.
I have reached a point where I do not want to continue carrying everything alone.
I want proper support. I want guidance. I want someone to take the situation seriously and help me find a way forward for myself and my children.
I also believe that my experience could potentially help someone else one day. There are people who experience emotional distress, intimidation, isolation or circumstances they cannot easily explain, and because there are no visible injuries, nobody understands the seriousness of what they are going through.
I am still trying to hold my life together.
I am trying to recover.
I am trying to work.
I am trying to be there for my children.
And I am trying to find help before everything becomes too much.
I am asking for proper help—not just sympathy, but someone willing to listen, understand the full situation and help me find a safe and constructive way forward.